Life Altering

So much has changed since my last entry.

I am now residing in Anchorage, Alaska.  Fate stepped in and made it happen....there are a lot of circumstances surrounding the move, but it is all for the best and I am happy.

Most of you know that I've filled the role of my grandma's caretaker for quite a while.  For the last 20 years, I've cared for her in some capacity....moral support, seeing her through many medical issues, taking care of her home, etc.  Yes, she's helped me out immensely too, mostly financially....but her help came with a huge cost.  She became mostly incapacitated around 2006, and since then I did all her cleaning, bill paying, doctor's appointments, pharmacy dealings, and grocery shopping.  As dementia took more of a toll on her mental health, she became extremely emotionally abusive.  The last two years have been absolute hell.  She has said things to me and told family secrets that hurt desperately.  I'm convinced that if I hadn't had to endure that abuse, I could have handled my own mental health issues much better.

When I met Richard, we fell in love very quickly.  I knew from the first few times we spoke that I wanted to spend my life with him.  He asked me to move to Alaska within a month.  Originally, we planned for quite a few months in the future....but that changed when grandma basically flipped her wig.

Unbeknownst to me, a distant cousin had been communicating with grandma on the sly and planting ideas in her head that I was taking advantage of her and not caring for her well enough.  In her demented state, grandma believed her and the two of them planned to remove me from grandma's care and as executor of her estate.  Thanksgiving day, she broke the news that she would no longer be helping me financially, and that this cousin would be moving there to care for her.  This was all I needed to decide to move to Alaska and be with Richard.  Faith backed up the decision....she was also tired of the abuse at grandma's hands.

So....we left.  She has no idea where we are, and that is for the best....When I moved away in 2000 to try to get away from her, she followed me within a year.  Now that she has a caretaker and cut me off so rudely, I see no reason to let her know where we are.  We need to move on with our lives, and I want my relationship with Richard to be successful.  He is an amazing man, and I love him more than I've ever loved anyone (besides Faith, of course).

As I sit here and type, a soft snow is falling, adding to the foot+ that is already on the ground.  I am safe and warm and comfortable in a beautiful condo, with everything I need provided for me.  You all know how independent I am, but it's nice to know I can rebuild our lives without having to suffer as before.  My life is so full of happiness right now that it almost feels surreal.