Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Confidence She Wears

My lovely daughter gave me the most cherished comment in my life yesterday.  As we were walking through Fred Meyer, she said "Mom, I love the way you walk."

Astonished, I asked her why.  "You walk with your head held high; chin in the air, your arm swinging.  I love you." she said, almost shyly ("I love you" is used as a compliment in this context, more than as a statement of feeling - similar to "I admire you").

The full impact of her compliment was a burst of happiness through my soul.  It's an amazing thing to hear yourself so highly regarded by someone special in your life.  It brought about some insight that I thought I would share.

I walk with confidence.  It's not something I always feel, but projecting it can convince me that it's true.  Sometimes it's an armor against the world that I feel is judging me.  Other times, I feel it so intensely that it's impossible to contain.

My goal is to trust myself enough that self-confidence becomes a comfortable outfit, rather than one that is tight and restrictive and ill-fitting.  It will be a final step in learning to love myself and to accept love from others.

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